


The Zoom Where It Happens.

by lotusbloom



Series: Ereri's Quarantine Adventures. [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: 104th Training Corps Shenanigans, Comedy, Drinking Games, Eren is a clumsy mess, Everything is pure chaos, F/F, Hanji and the members of squad Levi are professors too, I'm Sorry, Jean's mom is the best, Levi Wants That Yeager Booty, Levi is done with everything, M/M, Modern Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, Online Classes, Principal Erwin, The 104th trainees being little shits, The isolation made me do it, This Is STUPID, it also made everyone in this fic a lot dumber, professor Levi, quarantine au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:47:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24658603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lotusbloom/pseuds/lotusbloom
Summary: Hanji decides that working from home grants them the perfect chance to play a little drinking game they came up with. After an exhausting online class, Levi starts to see the appeal on the prospect of getting shitfaced at his students' expense.
Relationships: Erwin Smith/Mike Zacharias, Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss/Ymir, Levi/Eren Yeager, Mikasa Ackerman/Annie Leonhart, Most of the pairings are implied or mentioned, Oluo Bozado/Petra Ral, Reiner Braun/Bertolt Hoover, Sasha Blouse/Connie Springer
Series: Ereri's Quarantine Adventures. [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1801048
Comments: 28
Kudos: 246





	1. The Game Is On.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, little sunflowers.~
> 
> While I give the final touches to the new chapter of Blooming Daffodils™ and my bestie presents you her part of The Ineffable Game™, I'm here to bring you a little story I've been writing lately to keep myself sane in these awful times. It's ridiculous tbh, but a bit of comedy is what most of us need now that the world decided to be a bitch (not that it wasn't already). I hope all this silliness is enough to make you laugh, at least a bit. 
> 
> This was inspired by some weird drinking game a friend sent me a while back, when quarantine started and online classes became a thing. Idk what I'm doing, but here it is. 
> 
> I apologize for possible errors, english is not my first language and I'm constantly paranoid about messing stuff up. 
> 
> P.S. Eren's appearance is going to be "special", so wait for it[?].

_“If you’ve gotta work from home, you might as well get wasted.”_

Those were the words his coworker/mostly unwanted friend Hanji sent to the stupid group chat they shared with a bunch of other professors of Trost University, a secret place which purpose used to be relieving the accumulated stress of its users by offering them a chance to complain about their immense workload and how annoying some students could be. However, with an unexpected pandemic moving like a wave all over the world, forcing people to stay quarantined at home to slow the spread of the virus, that godawful chat was the only tool the staff could employ to discuss a suitable plan to adjust their methods so the young pupils had a chance to continue with their education despite the dramatic changes humanity was facing.

The prospect of teaching online classes was already threatening to cause Levi a nasty headache and shitty glasses’ crazy ideas were definitely not helping. The worst part of everything was that the rest of the team seemed to be quite interested in Hanji’s inappropriate little game, even Erwin, who should have been acting as the responsible principal he was supposed to be and put a stop to that charade before it started to get out of control. The raven could swear he was dealing with a bunch of naughty children instead of respectable educators of a prestigious university. Was that the kind of example they wanted their young, impressionable students to follow? 

He refused to be part of it. After working so hard to earn those brats’ respect, it’d be foolish to throw his efforts out of the window just to please his dumbass friends.

**[ Shitty glasses ] :** I have a list of things likely to happen during a Zoom session. If one of your students does or says anything that’s on the list, you gotta take a shot ;) 

**[ Petra ] :** Sounds fun! ^^

**[ Eyebrows ] :** Interesting.

**[ Mike ] :** Where do I sign?

**[ Gunther ] :** Hell yeah, count me in ;

What the fuck is wrong with you all? That shit is unprofessional, we are supposed to be the adults here.

**[ Shitty glasses ] :** Boo! You’re not fun :(

 **[ Auruo ] :** Yeah, Levi is right. Shame on you.

**[ Petra ] :** Shut up, Auruo. I lit just heard you say you couldn't wait to play! 

**[ Shitty glasses ] :** loool 

**[ Eld ] :** W a s t e d

I swear, I’m dealing with children.

**[ Eyebrows ] :** Come on, Levi. Live a little.

 **[ Shitty glasses ] :** Yeeeees Leevee, join the fun side (/*-*)/

Weren't you the principal, Erwin?

**[ Eyebrows ] :** That I am, yes. The game is not that bad though, at first I thought it would be inappropriate, but Mike helped me understand the case from a different perspective.

 **[ Petra ] :** Is he blackmailing you???

**[ Eld ] :** Oh, the tea is spilling

**[ Shitty glasses ] :** Did he promised to let you do something kinky to him? ;) 

**[ Eyebrows ] :** I don't need to do anything for him to give that permission.

That’s it, I’m leaving this chat.

**[ Gunther ] :** I wish I could unsee that...

 **[ Shitty glasses ] :** NO! U know I’ll just add you back again and again

Fuck.

**[ Shitty glasses ] :** and again

 **[ Petra ] :** Mike, what did you do?

**[ Mike ] :** I just told him that, given the situation the world is in right now, he should relax and have fun. We don't know how any of this would end, we could die tomorrow or next week, so why can't we be a little reckless for once? It's not like the students will know what we’re doing.

**[ Petra ] :** …

**[ Gunther ] :** …

**[ Eld ] :** …

**[ Auruo ] :** …

**[ Shitty glasses ] :** That’s...deep

**[ Eyebrows ] :** Now you see. Not even Levi can go against that logic.

Whatever. Where’s the list.

••• 

_“Anyone tries to make a coronavirus joke.”_

It barely took ten minutes into his first online class for the bomb to explode. 

At first, everything appeared to be running smoothly. The virtual platform where the video conference was taking place didn't turn out as difficult to decipher as some people made it seem, so Levi let himself relax a little, thinking that perhaps the whole deal wouldn't be so bad after all and he was just stressing out for no reason. 

And then the Springer kid logged in.

— Hey, guys! I haven't seen you since the plague! Did you bring the Coronas? — the bald brat announced happily, as if something could possibly be funny about a global pandemic that has altered the very fabric of existence and condemned his professor to hear shit like that for the rest of the unpleasant experience.

Resigned to this newly discovered kind of torture, the raven reached for his pen to put a check next to the first point on the list Hanji sent them the day before. It was Levi’s idea to mark down everything that happened and then schedule a video chat at the end of the week to drink the shots together instead of taking them in front of the students (Hanji’s original idea) or filling a teacup with some alcoholic beverage to subtly perform the dare without the risk of being caught (as Petra suggested).

— You’re late, Springer. — stated the older without bothering to dignify the kid’s stupid words with a response.

— Sorry, sir. I had some issues going on with the program, this Zoom thing is weird.

_“Anyone joins late because of “technical issues.”_

Well, fuck.

Begrudgingly, Levi marked down another future shot.

••• 

_“There are technical issues.”_

—...and that is something you need to remember. Any questions?

The professor’s inquiry was met with absolute silence, a common occurrence he constantly encountered in the classroom because of his unapproachable demeanor. He would’ve ignored it in favor of resuming his lesson, if not for the fact that the small windows showing the tired faces of his students all over the screen of his computer were completely frozen in various states of boredom. 

Kirstein appeared to be struggling to avoid falling asleep.

Springer was actually sleeping with his face resting on the table.

_“Anyone falls asleep.”_

Ackerman couldn't have looked more uninterested if she tried, but that wasn't new.

Was that a sandwich hanging out of Blouse’s mouth? 

At least the Arlert kid seemed to be paying attention, even if his face scrunched in deep concentration was quite a hilarious sight.

Cursing under his breath, the raven refreshed the site, wondering how long he’d been talking to the goddamn air without realizing his audience was no longer present.

••• 

— Well, now that the platform is working again, we can continue with today's lesson, where was I? — started the older once the technical issues were fixed, only to be stopped by a written message sent by Braun, which announced the boy had some troubles with his microphone and asked for a moment to figure out how to find a solution.

Levi just sighed and brought both hands to massage his temples, already frustrated with the situation after barely half of the time scheduled for that day’s class. Those shitty online meetings were going to be the death of him, not the disgusting virus that terrorized people in almost every continent. 

The brats gratefully accepted the break and used it to discuss their several plans for the upcoming weeks of isolation, while the Braun kid could be seen fighting with his keyboard, his annoyance visibly intensifying. 

Then suddenly, one of the blonde’s maneuvers miraculously worked.

— ...my time here. I should be screwing Bert's brains out on the kitchen table instead of dealing with this shit. — every person in the chat room heard the mutterings coming from Braun’s mouth.

_“Anyone is unmuted when they definitely shouldn't be.”_

Perfect timing.

The snickers around him were too difficult to appease so, with the kids’ concentration lost to the world, Levi gave up and dismissed the class for the day.

After that fiasco, the raven finally understood the appeal of Hanji’s game. He couldn't wait for the weekend to arrive and give him the chance to get shitfaced in the name of his students' stupidity.


	2. Stupid Brats And Stupid Towels.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Perhaps online classes are not as terrible as Levi initially thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a mess and I'm really ashamed of myself for writing this, but I still hope you guys have a bit of fun reading it. 
> 
> Thank you for your love and support.♡

The dreadful day of his second online class arrived in the blink of an eye and Levi already felt the impulse to kill everyone in the chat room and then himself. 

Shortly after logging in, the raven discovered how common technical issues were in that godforsaken platform and, even worse, how convenient that fact could be for some lazy-ass brats in need of foolish excuses to justify their delayed arrivals or shameless lack of presence whenever they pleased. 

If he was forced to hear another variation of “sorry, sir, but I swear it's Zoom’s fault”, the protruding vein frequently throbbing on his forehead would tragically burst. Also, he’d probably die from alcohol poisoning after the unhealthy amount of shots he was supposed to drink later that week because of his students' shenanigans. 

— Sorry for being late, sir. I couldn't join the video chat for some reason, Zoom hates me. — complained a flustered blonde girl who abruptly interrupted his lecture. 

Due to Reiss’ impeccable reputation, that suspicious statement could’ve deceived him, if not for the clearly disheveled state of her golden locks and her particular choice of clothing that in conjunction presented a clear picture of someone who just got out of bed. 

— Aw, babe, you look adorable with that bunny t-shirt. — commented a freckled brat whose last name he always managed to forget.

_”Someone is wearing pajamas.”_

Erwin should give him a substantial raise, it was the least he deserved.

••• 

— Does anyone know the answer to that? — asked Levi after a blissful hour of reviewing a crucial topic without constant inconveniences getting in his way. Apparently, his pleas reached the ears of a merciful deity, who took pity on him and blessed his miserable existence with the miracle of uninterrupted lessons.

Fucking finally.

— I do! — announced a two-tone haired kid with the longest face he’d ever seen. — Just let me grab my notebook…

And then he stood up, proudly revealing a pair of bright yellow boxers with some cartoon pattern covering the entire fabric.

_” Someone stands up and isn’t wearing pants.”_

What could be worse than that? 

— Is that Perry the platypus? — he heard Blouse’s voice in the distance after he excused himself for a moment, so he could hide in the bathroom for five whole minutes to slam his head against a wall.

••• 

In the end, Kirstein did not have the answer to Levi’s question, so Arlert gleefully jumped at the new opportunity to display his vast knowledge about the subject, a typical occurrence the professor admired just as the rest of the students appreciated a chance to skip their turns.

However, the appearance of a half-naked man in the blond coconut’s bedroom wasn’t part of the deal.

— Holy shit, Eren! I’m in the middle of a class! — the boy shrieked, scandalized, when he noticed the presence of another person in the room. 

Holy shit indeed.

The glorious specimen exposed in the background was a sight to behold. The athletic figure outlined by a defined musculature and broad shoulders resembled one of those sculptures of Greek gods exhibited in various museums all around the world. The sun-kissed shade of his smooth skin increased the allure of that appetizing silhouette, highlighting every soft curve, every sharp angle, with a golden glow created by the reflection of the light illuminating his computer screen.

Levi's silvery gaze descended, following the tempting arch of his back until it was stopped by a pristine white towel, the only piece of cloth protecting the modesty of its owner. 

He’d never despised an inanimate object with such passion before. 

What the hell was wrong with him? 

He didn't even get the chance to see the boy’s face before he scurried away as hastily as he entered.

— Oh my God, I’m so sorry, sir. This is so embarrassing. Please, forgive us... — the blond apologized profusely several times before successfully waking the raven from his previous daydream involving burning towels and stark naked brunets. 

— Who was that? — he couldn't resist the urge to ask, aiming for his usual indifferent tone. No one needed to know how just one glimpse of that guy’s body turned him into a mediocre poet ready to write a thousand sonnets about the hues of his golden complexion. 

— Why do you want to know? — Ackerman’s hissed words sounded a tad too aggressive for his liking and her stance made her seem like she was about to pounce out of the screen just to rip out his throat.

The audacity of that brat. 

— Mikasa, stop! I’m sorry, sir, she gets a bit protective when it comes to Eren. He’s my best friend and roommate, and I apologize on his behalf. It was an accident…

So, best friend, not boyfriend, huh?

Good start.

Once he obtained the answer he needed, the professor ceased listening to Arlert’s incessant babbling, choosing to focus on more important matters.

He needed to find a way to see that Eren guy again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eren's appearance was sponsored by all those videos of Zoom Epic Fails™[?].
> 
> Also, no towels were harmed in the making of this fic[?].


	3. Mothers And Microphones.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The "mute" option can ruin your life if you're not careful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another mess of a chapter, why am I still doing this?
> 
> Oh, yes, it's because I love you all. 
> 
> I hope you have fun reading this, my little sunflowers.~
> 
> P.S. As always, thank you for all your love and support, it means the world to me.♡

It took nearly a week for things to start heading in the right direction. In Levi’s opinion, those long, extenuating days were deemed enough for the brats to learn how to operate the cursed platform, so the man made pretty clear that he wouldn’t just accept their shitty excuses as patiently as he did at the beginning of their recently acquired method of education, when everyone was still exploring the wonders of online classes and uncovering Zoom’s deepest secrets.

Basically, he scorched them with his most menacing glare and brazenly threatened to make their pathetic lives an endless hell until graduation if they continued acting like immature children. 

Judging by their frightened faces (excluding Ackerman and her blonde stone-faced girlfriend, who just kept their usual unaffected expressions. Honestly, fuck those kids) after he finished the serious reprimand, his special technique worked flawlessly.

The following lessons went smoothly, only stained with a couple of repeated inconveniences here and there to mark on the list. Again. 

How many times were they planning to fall asleep in the middle of the class? 

How difficult it was for some of them to put on a fucking jacket to cover their pajamas? 

Stupid teenagers.

In that particular moment, the raven was immersed in his current explanation about a newly opened topic when, suddenly, his train of thought was rudely interrupted by an unfamiliar voice shouting in the distance. 

— Jean-boy, dear, I’m going to the store because we ran out of groceries. Do you want something?

— Mom! I’m in the middle of a class! — exclaimed a truly mortified Kirstein, who could only hide his flushed face when his peers’ snickers and teasing words began to fill the space.

_”Someone’s parents audibly or visibly interrupt (twice if a dog interrupts)”_

— Sorry, baby! But do you want the gummy bears or those dolphin-shaped ones? — the kind-sounding woman asked, seemingly unaware of her son’s struggle.

— Mom, stop!

— Okay, sorry, I’ll just bring both. Bye, I love you.

Even Levi had to admit that witnessing the demise of Kirstein’s reputation proved to be a bit entertaining.

••• 

The brunet Adonis was back.

A couple of minutes after the “Jean-boy” incident, that majestic piece of eye-candy appeared in all his glory inside blond coconut’s bedroom, as if summoned by the enchanting scent of Kirstein’s misery. 

Or someone texted him the details of the occurrence and he couldn't resist the chance to sneak a peek of “horse-face dying of embarrassment”, apparently. At least that's what he heard him admit to the Arlert kid. 

Not bad.

To Levi’s disappointment, the guy was fully clothed, contrary to his last stellar entrance. Still, without all that mouthwatering expanse of sun-caressed skin on display for his eyes to feast, the professor finally had the opportunity to focus on the brunet’s face instead of his well-sculpted body like a goddamn pervert. 

That’s when he realized the boy wasn’t only fit as hell, the bastard was also fucking gorgeous.

Not even the numerous pixels blurring the pictures exhibited on the screen of his computer managed to abate the beauty possessed by the young man; those masculine features that retained a glimmer of juvenile charm tracing every line with untainted elegance, that mischievous smile shining with playful mockery, those entrancing eyes of a color he couldn't discern with precise accuracy, but appeared to be an exotic shade of green.

Those same eyes that were staring straight at him.

— I’m sorry for interrupting your class again, sir. I just had to see Jean drowning in his humiliation before it was too late. — the brunet beauty explained himself, forcing Levi to suppress an amused smile that almost curved his lips. An offended “hey!” could be heard in the background, but none of them paid much attention to the horse's annoying neighing.

Trying to expose his confidence in front of the boy, the raven adopted a new, casual position that involved placing his crossed forearms on the table, except the calculations for that movement failed, forcing him to awkwardly drop his hands on top of his keyboard. 

Why did God hate him so much?

— That’s not a great excuse, but whatever. I’ll let it pass this time, just try not to make a habit of it, or next time I’ll have to force you to stay for the entire lecture as a punishment. — announced the raven with what he considered the perfect demeanor to look emotionless, but still exude enough presence to try catching his interest. 

He was ready to seduce the hell out of that brat.

— Sorry, what did you say? I can’t hear you, I think your mic is not working...

_”Someone accidentally mutes themselves (twice if it's you).”_

Fuck everything, he needed to slam those shots right there, right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Isolation has turned Levi into a thirsty man, save him [?].
> 
> Also, Eren's appearance was sponsored by Jean's mom.


	4. Flies And Fuck Ups.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One final class and then it's time for the shots.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Four chapters in and I'm still ashamed of myself for this mess[?]. Sorry. 
> 
> Dishonor on my cow.
> 
> Still, I hope you like it because you guys deserve the best. ♡
> 
> Thank you for your love and support.~

Friday arrived after what felt like an unending cycle of torture. In all his career as an educator, he’d never experienced such an immense amount of stress as the one he endured that particular week. Between his students’ annoying behavior during classes, the stupid questions about their assignments sent at unholy hours, and Erwin’s exhausting speech about how the situation wasn't ideal, but it was still really important to “keep nurturing those young minds despite the complicated circumstances”, Levi was starting to consider finding a way to contract the disease that caused all his current troubles and just pray for it to kill him.

Perhaps he sounded a little bit dramatic, and part of his tension had more relation to the tragic events associated with the pandemic, which he could see on the news on a daily basis, than his actual job, but the pressure kept building up inside him, waiting for one last blow to finally explode. 

To worsen his already sour mood, the list was lying on his desk, mocking him with its multiple red markings, almost as if Hanji wished to taunt him from the distance with the goddamn piece of paper. 

From the start, they knew he’d need those shots to unwind sooner than later and they’ll make sure to rub that fact in his face. 

Shitty glasses probably predicted the massive number of drinks he’d be forced to ingest. The motherfucker.

Luckily for him, the game did not include taking one every time his depraved imagination conjured a heated thought about some disgustingly attractive brat, otherwise he'd be in serious trouble. Or dead.

That small victory didn't alter his fate, though. He still had to get shitfaced with his coworkers that exact evening. 

But not without surviving one last class. 

— Well, I’ve been reading your assignments and I couldn't help but notice-.

A loud, resounding cough interrupted his words before he could finish the first sentence.

— Sorry, Mr. Ackerman. — apologized the Springer kid, his voice a tad easier than he remembered.

— It’s okay, as I was saying-.

Another cough.

— I noticed-.

And another, quickly turning into a fit of rough wheezing. 

_“Someone coughs.”_

— Babe, are you okay? — Blouse’s attention abandoned the enormous bag of chips resting on her lap and focused on the bald kid, who seemed to be experiencing some trouble breathing and, obviously, wasn't able to formulate an answer for the same reason. 

— Breathe, Springer, I don't need you dying in the middle of my class. — expressed the raven, beginning to feel concerned about his student’s state.

— He’s been infected, we’ve lost him already. Bye, Connie. — announced Leonhart, always so helpful. 

— You will be missed, buddy. — added Braun.

— Thank you for the good times, pal. — Ymir proclaimed, going as far as to perform an exaggerated salute.

— Guys! You’re the worst! — complained blond coconut and Levi had to agree. Those brats were awful, which meant a lot coming from someone who's been considering murder for the past few days.

At that point, Springer’s coughing fit had safely subsided, leaving him a chance to offer replies to his friends’ questions about his condition.

— Shut up, guys. I don't have coronavirus, but I think I swallowed a fly that went into my mouth…

The kids’ boisterous choir of laughs effectively concealed the pained sigh of resignation escaping the professor's lips.

••• 

— The kid ate a fucking fly, can you believe this shit? — the raven complained for the hundredth time that night. — Those brats are complete morons.

His friends, familiarized with the unique selection of words the man favored even when sober, could only laugh at his irritation while watching him chug glass after glass of what appeared to be vodka as if he was being generously paid for doing so.

Most of the people gathered in that private chat room appeared to be in different states of inebriation, which loosened them up enough to make fun of Levi’s agony, risking their safety in the process, and even offer some stories of their own. 

At least they were suffering too. 

Good. 

— There was something that made this shitty week tolerable, though. — the gray-eyed professor felt the need to confess. 

— And what is that? — Erwin inquired with evident curiosity.

— Was it this game? I know you loved it, Leeev. — his four-eyed friend tried to guess, failing miserably. 

— No, shit for brains, it wasn't the stupid excuse to get drunk you call “game”. — clarified the raven before taking a moment to refill his empty cup with more of the booze Hanji provided for him earlier. Since it was their brilliant idea to launch on that foolish activity and they desperately wanted him to play, he established a couple of conditions that saved him from going outside and compromising his health, also ensuring he’d acquire those expensive bottles of vodka he preferred without spending a penny. — I saw this gorgeous brat with the prettiest eyes. I’m not sure if they were green or blue, but fuck. And his body, damn, his body. I could drink this shit off his-

— Levi, oh my God! — a giggling Petra exclaimed, interrupting the pretty explicit scene he’d been entertaining in his mind for a while. 

Apparently, the copious quantity of alcohol he ingested had thrown his inhibitions out of the window.

— Green-blue eyes? Oh, you’re talking about Eren! — the insane brunette looked like a child on Christmas morning, their piercing shrinking disturbing the peaceful atmosphere with the force of a thunder. — That baby is a cutie, isn’t he? 

— Oh, Yeager? He’s my student, a really nice lad. — Mike hurried to add from his spot, comfortably perched atop his husband’s lap. Gross. 

— I wish he were mine. — once again Levi’s filter proved to have ceased functioning, prompting him to expose his darkest secrets with zero shame.

— Well, that’d make things difficult for you if you decided to pursue him. Relationships between professors and students are forbidden, you know? — Captain America’s doppelganger decided to chime in with all his ethics and gigantic eyebrows, as if he hadn't previously encouraged a game that included drinking in front of students (before Levi found a way to make the affair less inappropriate). 

— That's not what I meant. I just wish he were mine, not my student. Mine.

His disturbing admission was met with silence.

And then…

— He’s in my class and we recently made a What’s App group, so I have his number… — Hanji, amazing and fabulous Hanji, blessed him with a tempting offer he knew he should refuse. The boy was young, too young for a bitter, old man like him. The same age as his students, the people he constantly referred to as children. Trying his luck with a brat ten years his junior would be so messed up, he had to step back before it was too late. 

— Then why haven't you sent it to me yet? 

If someone asked what happened to his integrity that night, he’ll blame it on the alcohol and its wicked, so wicked effects.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A moment of silence for our fallen friend, the fly. 
> 
> Next time we'll know what Levi decided to do with the number. Spoiler alert: Probably something really, really embarrassing.


	5. Hangovers And Surprises.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi wakes up feeling like death and has to face the consequences of his drunken shenanigans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the final chapter!
> 
> My own writing makes me cringe so hard, but I still had fun working on this story. I really hope you guys had fun reading it too.^^
> 
> Thank you for all your comments and kudos, they always make my days a bit brighter. ♡
> 
> [×] The italics in the phone-call part are Eren's words, just to clarify[?].

When Levi woke up the following morning, he felt as if he’d been run over by a truck. The relaxing, blissful effects the alcohol provided the previous night were cruelly replaced by all those disgusting hangover traces that usually tended to be enough to deter him from drinking without measure. A splitting headache pressed against his skull, almost like threatening to break it in half. Pain predominated in his body; every single muscle felt sore, his neck and shoulders were awfully stiff, and his throat burned so much he started to consider spitting on the floor instead of swallowing the bitter fluids forming inside his mouth. Of course, he refrained to do so because he was not an animal and had yet to be ready to valiantly move from his position under the covers of his bed. 

The rays of sunlight filtering through the window attacked his sensitive eyes with merciless needles that pierced all the way to his brain, which gave the impression of being pretty much on fire. Fuck the sun for making its appearance so early, all shiny and hot as if it was out solely to get him. 

He desperately needed water, some Advil, and a long, long cold shower to ease the feverish burning of his skin.

But continuing to rest for a while longer sounded more tempting at the moment.

Adjusting his heavy limbs in a less uncomfortable position, he let his eyelids fall closed and tried to will sleep to claim him once again. 

He obtained five seconds of peace before his phone started ringing, destroying his eardrums in the process. 

The raven would’ve screamed with frustration, if only his head wasn't about to explode.

After reaching out for the deafening device with a trembling hand and loads of suppressed rage, Levi opened one eye to check who the hell was the monster who decided to ruin his morning with annoying texts, already planning to give them a piece of his mind so they could drown in misery just like himself since his day began. 

If he had to guess, he’d say it was Hanji.

Except that, when he managed to win the battle against the blinding light coming from the screen and read the cursed notification, he noticed one thing.

The text was, in fact, not from shitty glasses. 

The contact name said “Eren”, followed by a bunch of heart emojis, an eggplant, and a peach.

Now, _that_ screamed Hanji everywhere, it had to be their doing somehow. Even without being present, they always found a way of convincing him to do weird crap.

But, the question was, who the hell-.

Oh.

_Oh._

Shit.

— Fuck me gently with a chainsaw. —he muttered sourly under his breath before inhaling deeply, preparing to face what could possibly turn out to be the most humiliating moment of his life. 

**[ Eren 💜💜💜🍆🍑 ] :** Hey! I just wanted to know how you’re feeling. After last night, I was a bit worried :( 

Stupid c̶u̶t̶e̶ brat. 

Reading the last message, Levi began to dread the embarrassing things that could be waiting for him if he browsed the rest of their conversation. 

Still, he needed to know the truth, otherwise he wouldn't be able to assess the situation and determine whether there was a chance of fixing that mess or if he should pack his bags and move away.

Brad you r sp prwtty

rat

brat

**[ Eren 💜💜💜🍆🍑 ] :** ???????

 **[ Eren 💜💜💜🍆🍑 ] :** Who is this???

I sww u nsked

**[ Eren 💜💜💜🍆🍑 ] :** Excuse me???

I saw u inmy classs

Yuo weere nakd

**[ Eren 💜💜💜🍆🍑 ] :** Horseface, is this another one of your pranks? Cuz I swear-

No imnot horsxf

I tech the cocont

**[ Eren 💜💜💜🍆🍑 ] :** What??

I teach yr coconut

blond smort cocnut

**[ Eren 💜💜💜🍆🍑 ] :** Armin?

 **[ Eren 💜💜💜🍆🍑 ] :** Oh!!!! You’re Armin’s professor???

duh

slow b rat

**[ Eren 💜💜💜🍆🍑 ] :** Sorry. Levi, right?

 **[ Eren 💜💜💜🍆🍑 ] :** Sorry for interrupting your class the other day :(

yes s ok

The next bunch of texts consisted of his own explanations about why a stranger, a really drunk one, chose to talk to the boy out of the blue. The kid didn't seem to mind and even asked him some questions about his plans for the night, but who knows, he was probably pretending not to be scared shitless out of politeness. After practically a dozen pointless exchanges, things finally started to take a different turn.

 **[ Eren 💜💜💜🍆🍑 ] :** Sooooo, you think I’m pretty?

ugh yes s annoyin

**[ Eren 💜💜💜🍆🍑 ] :** Weeell, I think you're pretty too, you know?

im no prtty fck you

im jst hot

**[ Eren 💜💜💜🍆🍑 ] :** Yeah, that too

 **[ Eren 💜💜💜🍆🍑 ] :** I’ve seen you around campus before so I should know

shuddup

**[ Eren 💜💜💜🍆🍑 ] :** I can't shut up if I’m just texting

thn call m e

And call him he did, apparently.

He was royally fucked.

••• 

It took two Advils, a close encounter with the toilet, a bottle and a half of mineral water, and a forty-minute long shower to stop him from panicking. His stomach was still agitated and the nausea persisted along with some mild general pain, but at least he didn't feel like dying anymore.

Well, not _physically._

His drunk adventures still haunted his thoughts, he couldn't help but wonder how the rest of that particular exchange developed and what could he do to recover his lost dignity. 

The best course of action seemed to be talking to the brat, offer an apology for his inappropriate behavior, and pray for a decent outcome. 

Building up the courage to proceed with his initial plan, Levi pressed the call button. 

Texts were too informal to have that sort of discussion after all. Also, his eyes still hurt like a bitch.

Eren answered after the third ring.

 _“Hey, Levi! You’re alive!”_ The chipper, loud tone was a bit too much for his suffering brain, but he couldn't bring himself to complain.

“Hello, kid. Barely, but yeah.”

_”That bad, huh? Well, you did sound really plastered last night, so I can imagine.”_

“Yeah, about that”, a pause stretched for a couple of seconds and then he let out a pained sigh, “I’m sorry for bothering you with my drunk texts, I have no idea what came over me. Too much vodka, I guess. It must have been quite odd and disturbing to suddenly receive weird messages from a guy you don't know anything about, other than the fact that he's your friend’s professor.”

The kid had the nerve to laugh at his words.

_“Nah, it’s alright. I actually had a lot of fun, and yeah, maybe I don't know much about you, but I'm glad you decided to talk to me. I’ve been wanting to do that for a while.”_

Wait, what?

“Wait, what?” he inquired, dumbfounded. 

_”You don't remember? I told you that when I called you,”_ the boy replied, sounding slightly disappointed.

“Sorry, kid, but I was hammered as shit, I can't remember much of anything. Would you mind repeating that for me?”

 _” Okay, I guess it's fair. After all, yesterday you told me some things I probably wasn't supposed to know.”_ That voice full of mischief ripped a shudder out of his body. He was so fucked, part of him was grateful for his lack of memories about the incident, otherwise he wouldn't be able to sleep peacefully ever again. Or die of mortification.

_”That time I interrupted your lecture after what happened to hors-Jean, wasn't the first time I saw you. I’ve seen you around campus plenty of times when Armin and Mikasa asked me to meet them after class and I always thought you were intriguing. Many of my friends are your students, so they talk a lot about you, and that only intensified my curiosity. Of course, I couldn't just approach you to start a random conversation, that would’ve been weird. I regret skipping that chance though, it would’ve been nice to be actually in front of you for our first chat, not on the other side of the line.”_

“Oh”, the raven expressed softly, so eloquently as any qualified professor would never do. Saying that the young man’s confession took him by surprise was an understanding. He’d been lusting after the brat since the day he showed up half-naked in the middle of his online class, yes, but never, not even for a moment, he considered the possibility of that ocean-eyed beauty being remotely interested in him. 

God was real. 

_”Did I make things awkward?”_ the adorable fucker, bless him, asked. He sounded so self-conscious, Levi desperately wanted to comfort him. 

“Are you seriously asking that to the man who drunk-texted you just to call you “pretty”?" 

_”Oh, so that's what you meant. I thought “Brad” was the one who’s pretty. Or maybe a rat, it wasn't clear.”_

And that's how he started regretting his decision. 

“Shut up, brat.” 

_”Make me.”_

For the first time in his entire adult life, Levi longed for the freedom taken away by the stupid pandemic that ruined his existence and the rest of the world’s population’s with it. 

“I will, just you wait." 

_”Gladly.”_

Well, perhaps “ruined” was an exaggeration. After all, without quarantine, there wouldn't be Zoom video conferences to allow him to ogle gorgeous brats or drinking games that gift the liquid courage necessary to woo said brats with the promise of a future encounter when the worst is over. 

It could take a while, but patience was a virtue. 

And being apart didn't mean they couldn't have fun exploring their new beginnings. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't drink and text, my friends[?].
> 
> So, that's all, folks. Thank you so much for reading this mess of a story (and sorry for Levi's unreadable texts). ♡
> 
> I have a couple of ideas for more Quarantine AU™ stories, but I'm not sure if I should actually use them or let them die to save myself from the inevitable embarrassment[?]. Let's see what happens.^^
> 
> Stay safe, please. This pandemic is not over, so don't forget to follow the necessary measures to take care of yourselves.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for all your love and support, you guys are literal angels. 
> 
> I hope you like this weird thing I wrote and don't worry, Eren and Levi are going to have their moment soon.
> 
> Do you have any questions? Suggestions? Constructive criticism? Prompts for a new story you'd like to read? You can find me as "darklotusbloom" on Tumblr. 
> 
> Stay safe.
> 
> With love, ren flower. ♡


End file.
